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dennis8648

Lets talk about the Struggle..Love..Life..Dreams...And Goals...

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Ive always been a very private secretive person about my personal life, i came here in the third grade in 1997 on a tourist visa been here ever since just a couple of years ago when i finally thought id get my papers Immigration goes and messes it up and sends my Documents to My home Country and basically says oops we didnt know you were here in the US so id have no other choice but to go back to Kenya to get interviewed so i could get my Papers and no gurantee id come back lol non of the friends ive had all my life even now (24) have ever known about my situation and still dont know lol i know personally ive loved it this way ive managed to have a somewhat normal social life but at the same time its difficult when you cant always go out with your friends, or cant make it to Birthday Events because ever since i lost my passport ive been canceling so many thigs and giving excuses, ive always been afraid to tell people because i never want sympathy or pitty ive managed to stay sane and no one who knows me would suspect my struggle its been hard to get into relationships, do simple everyday things with friends, progress financially etc etc i always felt like i was the only one in this position, ive only ever told one girl my situation and she didnt even care and still doesent but what about you guys and Gals..

How has undocumetned status affected your love life?

How has undocumented status affected your financial and social life?

Do you come out with it or have you kept it a secret and lived a double life so to speak lol..

Have you ever had a hard time breaking it to your friends or just lived in silence like i have

what are certain things youve always wished youve wanted to do through out your life,

P.S im glad i could share and vent to like minded people and people going through this same situation i am going through :] Happy Holidays..i hope the best for you all

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glad you found a place to vent. here are my answers to the questions.

1.) i dont feel like my situation has affected my love life. each one of my exes --there have only been 3-- have all known about my situation. 2 of them i have told up front and they didnt care and the last one i told after i got approved and had my EAD.

2.) i've worked on and off since i was 19, mostly minimum wage jobs. i never kept a job for that long and tired to save as much money as i could. living with my mom or my grandparents helped me save money as they provided most of the basics that i needed.

other then not being about to drive, i dont think my social life has been affect. i still went out with friend and pitched in for gas when i could. i lived in a small town so after i was 21, getting into the bar wasnt that big of a deal because usually the bouncer knew me of one of my aunts.

3.) the only people that know about my situation are my family and my ex boyfriends. none of my friends know just because i feel like if someone isnt going to be my friend because of something that i had no control over then i dont need them as a friend.

4.) the one and only thing that i ever wanted to do was join the military.

but what i have now and the job i have are all that i can ask for so i'm happy :)

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To be honest the only people who know about my status would be my family and now you guys... Lol

1) it never really did until I started getting older (19 now) because girls would wanto to go to the club, mall, movies (I live in NC, there's nothing but farms and cows lol ) and to get to the city you would have to drive 40-45 mins and for the ovious reasons I couldn't do so!

2) the same thing friends would want to take trips and stuff... And they would always ask why don't you drive and why don't you get a car and I always had to ask for a ride!

3) I've always keept it a secret but I kind of felt like people knew...

4) when I was in high school I was in the drama/theater club we did plays/fashion shoes/concerts/musicals/dance performances... And I won a lot of awards and one time my teacher asked me if I would persue this as a carreer and I told her yeah! So she arranged a bunch of meeting with modeling and acting casting agencies Which I never went to or had to cancel because they asked for a SS#! I wouldve loved to have attended those castings!

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How has undocumetned status affected your love life?

When I was younger, it affected my love life, in the way that I didnt have any serious relationships. Didnt let anyone get too close. I was being the player and just playing the game..just having fun. I found someone, who didnt want to be another notch on my bedpost and actually wanted to have a "serious"relationship. I refused to allow it. He left but he came back and during that time, I learned to miss him and open myself up. He came back and we've been in our relationship for about 4 years and he doesnt judge my situation...hes been as helpful as possible..

How has undocumented status affected your financial and social life?

It didnt really affect my financial status because I used to earn very good money...and social life...well I never really went to clubs or bars, so Im barely learning to do that...

Do you come out with it or have you kept it a secret and lived a double life so to speak lol..

Ive been pretty honest to people who are close to me..having been undocumented wasnt a sin or mistake on my part. My dad just brought me in the "wrong" way into the country...

Have you ever had a hard time breaking it to your friends or just lived in silence like i have

Like I said previously, Ive been pretty open with people close to me, if they have the audacity to judge me..they dont deserve to be in my life..

what are certain things youve always wished youve wanted to do through out your life,

I also would have liked to join the military...but Im at a stage where Im content and aiming to realize my goals.

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wow kudos to yall for being able to open up and share your stories. I always find it so hard.

:] thanks this is the first time ive told anyone else other than the girl im talking to lol

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1. I can't really say it has affected my love life. Ive told my ex boyfriend that i was not born in the US but, im not sure if he really figured out i wasnt legal.

2. socially.. well before it was the driving thing. all my friends had their license and i didnt. i felt like an outcast cause they would all show each other their pictures and what not. but, after we graduated HS i started driving anyway. financially.. i would have to say school wise. we cant really go into the college of our dreams cause of costs and what not. it kinda hurts me alot.

3. i have lived a double life haha. theres only like a few people ive told that i met in school that i know have no connection to my regular friends so my regular freinds wouldnt know. it's kind of sad. i always wonder how my best friends would act if i told them.. what would their parents think since they are like my second parents. would they look down upon my family? upon me? would things even change? i dont know. i dont want to know. at work everyone knows. everyone there is undocumented to i know they understand. and they root me on knowing that i have big dreams.

3. ive kept it a secret to all my close friends that i feel that things might change if i told them..

4. I just want to go to a good school and have a career.

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1. My situation never affected my love life. but im in a relationship right now and i didnt tell my boyfriend about my situation until my cousins opened their big mouths. but i was kinda scared to tell my boyfriend cause i didnt want him to feel like i was with him for the wrong reasons. plus we hadnt even known each other that long so like i just didnt want him to know. but after he found out i didnt have papers he never let me drive again! but now that i have my DL i drive all the time!

2. no it hasnt because ive always had a job. ive had a job since i was 17, but i worked under the table and i got paid cash! i do want to go back to school but school tutition is too dang expensive and i rather wait to have legit papers then to waste a ton of $$ on stuff i could wait a little while on. plus im still young!!

3. the only people who know is my family, and my closest friends. i am not really someone who blurts out that im illegal bc some people are crazy and can threaten you in many ways and using that against you.

4. School! i want to own my own insurance company one day! and i want to get my business degree to be good at what i do! and i want to help my boyfriend open his own towing company!

those are still my dreams. they are just on hold till i go to school and get my own location to start my business ! (:

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i always told my friends i was born in mexico so im a wetback......i never lied to them,,,,what for most of dem are my age an single now with kids,i always make jokes an tell em im a 100% mexican but with no kids ;) an a shaved busha hahaha,,,, i always been interested in criminal justice an when i graduated h.s class of 09...i went to everest an they said that i wuld have to pay this much but even if i did go ,,i wouldnt be able to work cause i dint have a social,....an last week i went again to everest thinking i would get some tipe of help since im in cali...i got rejected again she told me to come back when i have a green card so i can get finacial aid.....whenever i go somewere i take da bus.....i dont ask people for rides.....i know when i get approve with daca ima go an take driving classes so i can learn how to drive i wanna learn stick shift too,,,,i work selling churros door tooo door an know when i get my lisence is gunna be easier cause i can just drive up to da good apartments weres dere alot of people....:) i tell my friends i sell churros....i tell em im a wetback...why would i hide who i am..?? i know im a goodlooking chick(; ahha thats whats more important ahha

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Just reading everyones comments makes me realize you guys went through hard situations because of your immigration status.

Unlike me I had it, still have it easy right here in California. Been undocumented here is no big deal, everywhere you go here you see a hispanics here lol obviously not everyone is legal here so you feel more comfortable living in the area. Your legal status is common here I guess you feel welcome to be around here. Been undocumented has not affected my love life, all you date here is latinos/latinas lol. It did affected me when I was in high school I turned down many good opportunities, job offerings, and the privilege to have a drivers license. I also knew I couldn't enroll in the university I wanted to go. After high school I didn't go to college after one year, so in the mean time I was working I had to settle for some crappy jobs because of my status, but I managed to get a good spot in a marketing company. Since then getting into clubs was not a big deal right here you get a fake ID and your good to go in. Everyone partys here in Cali so guarantee you'll have a good time lol, the only issue was not been able to drive legally and persuading your dream job, traveling, taking free courses, etc. My advice for you guys, don't be embarrassed of where you came from, we are all special people, unique, its always nice having a friend from a foreign country, and hearing your stories people can appreciate you and understand the struggles each of you went through in this country. Be proud of where you came from not everyone has same privilege as you do. We just have to get out there and share our stories :) and good luck for those waiting for approvals !

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Hey! I'm pretty new here but I'm really happy that I found this forum.

1. Being undocumented hasn't really affected my love life too drastically. It only had two little impacts on it. Once was when my ex wanted me to go to Cancun with his family and the other was when he was trying to teach me how to drive and I turned down his offer. I gave him indistinct replies to both answers and it didn't really affect anything.

2. Being undocumented has been really hard financially. I was supposed to start college last semester and everyone who knows me knows that I've been dreaming about college since I was in the 3rd grade. I could start though because I couldn't get financial aid and I didn't get enough from scholarships. Also I don't know anyone who can/will cosign my loan. Hopefully I should be starting at the end of this month but my mom and I haven't made the first payment. We'll see. Socially, I used to live in Florida and by the time I graduated high school everyone in my grade drove except for me. I told them I was waiting until I moved back to New York over the summer to get it here.

3. Lol I lived a "double life" for years until last year I got really fed up after about an 8 month period of struggle. Basically a bunch of things happened and right before I started my senior year in high school, my mom and I moved 3 times over the summer. I was stressed and I told one of my closest friends. She handled it really well and I lived with her family for four months. Then I told my best friend and she handled it well but she doesn't really understand it at all.

4. It was definitely a struggle telling my best friend because I kept it from her for so long. I think the important thing to remember when you go to tell someone is that most people won't care because they don't understand. Also if you really trust the person you're going to tell and you know they care about you, they won't treat you differently. They'll actually do their best to help you out, like my friend who let me live with her.

5. I want to drive. I want to go to school without wondering how I'm going to scrape together cash for books, food, metrocards and next semester. I want a student loan (bet you don't hear that often). I want to go to medical school. I want to get a summer job at NSLC. I want to do internships. I want to study abroad and go to Canada with my friends over spring break. When someone asks for an ID I want to give them a state ID instead of my passport/student ID. Most importantly, I want to go to the airport without nearly having a heart attack every time a TSA agent looks at my passport.

Lol I wrote a lot but I had a lot of stuff I wanted to share.

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How has undocumetned status affected your love life?

How has undocumented status affected your financial and social life?

Do you come out with it or have you kept it a secret and lived a double life so to speak lol..

Have you ever had a hard time breaking it to your friends or just lived in silence like i have

what are certain things youve always wished youve wanted to do through out your life,

Before I start, I just want clarify the fact that I had a case with USCIS before, so that allowed me to enjoy a Work Permit, SSN, DL, among others...for the full story, go here: http://forum.adreama...is-is-my-story/

On to the answers:

  • After being stuck in this situation, it somewhat affected me. At the time I found out, I was in a relationship and my girlfriend knew of my situation. However, I still took the risk to drive around and go places. Before summer of 2012, we parted ways since she wanted to go back to Colombia, and I went to live in NYC for like 5 months. After coming back to Miami, I have been stuck at home for most of the time and have not gone out as much. Therefore, I have not been able to promote myself. That being said, I am in no rush. I have plans right now, and I don't want to go out lookin' for love... you find it when you least expect it.

  • It has affected me significantly. It is really hard to find a steady source of income, although I have been able to secure some projects that pay relatively well. However, they are not consistent and sometimes far apart, so I have to carefully manage whatever income I am able to receive.

  • I am very reserved and not reveal much of my situation. Some of my closest friends and college buddies know what I am going through, and many provide me with their support. That being said, when a stranger asks me about my legal status, I just tell them that I am a resident. If they ask me if I have been back home (Colombia), I just tell them that I have been busy with school or with other projects and I plan to go for vacation at the end of the year, if I decide to.

  • See above answer.

  • Since I was given the opportunity to have work permit and ssn, I was able to go to college and get my degree. However, during the time I spent in a company I was working at, I was able to determine what it is that I want to pursue: I am going to be an Investment Banker, and work either in Lower Manhattan or The City of London. In order to accomplish that career switch, I have to go to Business School, and it is really competitive to do so. However, if I was able to endure the uncertainty this situation brings, I am able to endure anything (plus, I was re-baptized in a fire hydrant in the Bronx, so I can make it anywhere ;) )

As a closing statement, let's keep fighting for our dreams. Look at the big picture and maximize your full potential. According to Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, a human's most important need is the need of Self-Actualization, after all others have been fulfilled. Strive for that one - the top of the pyramid!

PS Dennis - Unazungumza Kiswahili?? If so, Nimefurahi kukutana na wewe!

tumblr_mfz294rxPy1rn2973o1_500.gif

1)...an a shaved busha hahaha...

2)i work selling churros door tooo door an know when i get my lisence is gunna be easier cause i can just drive up to da good apartments weres dere alot of people.... :) i tell my friends i sell churros....i tell em im a wetback...why would i hide who i am..?? i know im a goodlooking chick(; ahha thats whats more important ahha

1) LMFAO - whaaaat?

2) Keep your dream alive...you will eventually have your Criminal Justice degree sooner rather than later...

In regards to the Churros...

Keep making that money girl!

tumblr_mak6ktGGkA1ru90dzo1_250.gif

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How has undocumetned status affected your love life?

It didn't really affect me until i entered until i entered college. while i was in college i dated a chick that went through bootcamp for the Marine Corps and it was sort of hard for her to understand. Her parents are undocumented also, but she was always given everything in a gold plate, so she told me she'd fix me when we got married. I left her because i knew when she entered the Marine Corps she came back and said, well ur gonna have to stick it out 6 years until my contract is up. along with that, her parents thought i was with her because of that sole purpose. we dated for over 2 years until i left because that relationship was draining me, her with wanting to be full time marine, her parents not liking me at all, and she didnt treat me well. it was as shame because im a college kid you know, she wasnt just dating some future "don nadie". Mind you, i loved the chick, for her to think that i was only in it because of that, was a low blow for me.

How has undocumented status affected your financial and social life?

it did affect my social life quite a bit, like everyone here, in high school everyone drove, im sure everyone knew i was undocumented here but ive always been a likeable kid, plus i was one of the best athletes in school, played soccer (of course), basketball, and baseball. always earned state recognition, even made state teams. never going to parties kind of sucked but at the end i am kinda thankful i didnt participate in those because god knows the many problems i wouldve gotten into

Financially, i haven been that unfortunate, my dad es bien trabajador. kind of hurt me during my jr year in high school and just two years ago when both my parents health wasnt that well, after they went through several surgeries almost at the same time two years ago, i started working because there was not flow of money and bills had to be paid. back in october i got caught by the boss, she noticed i didnt have papers and well i resigned from work. a week later my car got stolen, and well everything has been going downhill ever since, hopefully i can get daca and ead approved because i need to work.

Do you come out with it or have you kept it a secret and lived a double life so to speak? lol..

like i said, im pretty sure everyone knew, was never judged, ive given my community alot and everywhere i go im respected. they dont see me as the undocumented kid, they see me as a role model and the future leader of the community. i hope i dont let them down.

Have you ever had a hard time breaking it to your friends or just lived in silence like i have?

no everyone knew, my best friend is also a dreamer. me and her understand the struggle and we have been blessed to know each other, couldnt ask for a better friend.

what are certain things youve always wished youve wanted to do through out your life?

well now that im in the last stretched of my college life, ill be graduating with a BS in Management Information Systems and a Minor in Computer Science, so hopefully i can get a good paying job, get my parents another home, invest into my community and go on to Graduate School. Really hope i can get into Law School and ultimately run for some type of public office, i know ill make a huge difference in my community, i wont be one of those politicians that get carried away, my life has always been tied to my community and making a difference in our kids life.

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i always told my friends i was born in mexico so im a wetback......i never lied to them,,,,what for most of dem are my age an single now with kids,i always make jokes an tell em im a 100% mexican but with no kids ;) an a shaved busha hahaha,,,, i always been interested in criminal justice an when i graduated h.s class of 09...i went to everest an they said that i wuld have to pay this much but even if i did go ,,i wouldnt be able to work cause i dint have a social,....an last week i went again to everest thinking i would get some tipe of help since im in cali...i got rejected again she told me to come back when i have a green card so i can get finacial aid.....whenever i go somewere i take da bus.....i dont ask people for rides.....i know when i get approve with daca ima go an take driving classes so i can learn how to drive i wanna learn stick shift too,,,,i work selling churros door tooo door an know when i get my lisence is gunna be easier cause i can just drive up to da good apartments weres dere alot of people.... :) i tell my friends i sell churros....i tell em im a wetback...why would i hide who i am..?? i know im a goodlooking chick(; ahha thats whats more important ahha

@Beatrizrivera909 I LOVE your attitude and your honesty! you're amazing! the best post i have read on this forum is this! keep it up! and i would love to try those churros girl!! me quito el sombrero por ti ! I'm clapping for you! consider me your fan!! Keep doing you!! pa'lante!

How has undocumetned status affected your love life?

Not all actually, I play it cool. lol I always say that I'm working on my residency , thats why i cant drive yet or work or go to school or i tell them like oh yea i'm taking a break this semester blah blah depending on how serious it is. And they're cool with it. I don't feel like i have to give them details unless it becomes more serious then sure!

How has undocumented status affected your financial and social life?

A lot because i can't work but i have my parents and they pay for everything but you know you always wanna have your own money and stop asking for money. My social life it has been affected but thankfully i have good friends and an awesome best friend who is always giving me rides. She lives kinda close to me and we share the same friends so we always go together. But for example right now she is in relationship so when she is with her boyfriend i cant go out to anywhere because all my other friends live far so I am stuck at home because i don't have a ride, I live way too far for my friends to come pick me up, go somewhere and then come drop me off. It's hard because I'm 23 i wanna socialize and not depend on anyone to take me places. This is one of the things that really gets to me because i feel trapped in my own home. When she can't go for x or y reason then i can't go. But other than that i get into to clubs, bars with my old expired id i have no problems with that.

Do you come out with it or have you kept it a secret and lived a double life so to speak lol..

All my friends know about it. There's no point in lying and I'm not ashamed of it. I havent committed a crime. My friends understand me and support me. Now the people i meet or acquaintances there's no need for me to tell them is something private and not their business and i just play it cool if they ask me if i'm going to school i'm like not at the moment i'm taking a break and if they ask me i'f im working i say the truth well the place i used to work at closed. If they ask me why don't i drive I just say why should I ? when my friends love being my chauffeur lol jk

Have you ever had a hard time breaking it to your friends or just lived in silence like i have

Like I said my friends know. If someone is your friend or has been your friend for so long chances are they already suspect something is up if you don't have a "normal life" like you dont drive etc. Also if they're your friends why would they stop being your friends if they find out you dont have them? then guess what those people dont deserve your friendship as a matter of fact they're horrible people if they pick their friendships based on a status. Like you don't need people like that in your life , tell them if you haven't so you can get rid of them .

what are certain things youve always wished youve wanted to do through out your life,

Travel.

P.S feels good to know we all go through the same thing.We are not alone.

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;) a vivir la vidaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

1) Everytime I see your name I think of that comment where you said

"I want a Cadillac 2013 so that the bitches that know I sell churros be like that churro bitch has a Cadillac car..."

Hahahahahaha that just cracks me up! :D

2) how good are your churros? Can you FedEx me some? Lol

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1) Everytime I see your name I think of that comment where you said

"I want a Cadillac 2013 so that the bitches that know I sell churros be like that churro bitch has a Cadillac car..."

Hahahahahaha that just cracks me up! :D

You and me both bro! LOL

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Bahaha mee too^^^

I also admire her though, churro chick in a cadi, those changes churros must be hella fine!

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